เขียน reflection หลังจากเข้าดูงานแสดง บางละเมิด โดยอรอนงค์ ไทยศรีวงศ์
12 months ago, I wrote …
Thais have lived in, I say, a prison for decades of dictatorship long enough to make people unable to realize that what we are in is a prison, the prison of “me and self”, and we are blind to the reality.
Today, we are not confronting with only a political issue but a class segregation. Like many other capitalist countries, majority of their citizen desire to climb up on the social ladder. So, we think of self before others. We care less humanity and social welfare. We act on what we think is good for ourselves not the greater good. Yet, we tell ourselves what we do is for the whole and let ourselves be fooled by people in power who do not do good for us and not for the greater good.
How can it be for the whole society when our actions do not even comply with the rules and the laws? How can we even claim that we do for the greater good when we neglect to accept that the majority exercised their rights to choose who to govern?
We choose to see what we believe not the reality. We, the riches and poors, forgot that we all share the same territory, government, and rules of laws just like prisoners unconsciously trap themselves with the idea of it is what it is. Accept it and keep breathing till the day comes!
10 months ago, I did..
Been back to hometown for almost 8 months, and still wonder where I belong.
My life abroad, I felt empowered and courageous to engage in movements for changes. Talk about issues with compassionate friends, dream out loud, and take actions to change with not much fear.
At home, much fear and worries, dream silently, not many compassionate friends, no courage to act. – Why? Collectivist culture and selfish love? Powerism? The patron client system? Conservative tradition?
Do I really belong here?
Today, I would say …
This is where I belong, in this land where I do not own.
It is uneasy for a privilege who see it to be.
The worst could be worst on the less privileges who pay for my expenses or those with greater dignity and courage for their moral values.
An unfair life circumstance shattered my identity.
My inner and and outer identities may be in conflict.
But not only the circumstance did, I decided.
I have blinded myself to my vision and empathy for others.
This is me that I own, and I am afraid that I can only wait for the day to liberate my soul. OR, I probably have not been creative neither courageous enough?
